Love Yourself First – The Ultimate Way

Have you ever been betrayed by a loved one? Cheated on by your partner?

How did you feel?

Traumatized? Heartbroken? Angry? Revengeful?

I can say it is one of most painful experiences.

Now, let me reverse the question…

Have you ever betrayed YOURSELF?

This means…

hiding the truth about yourself to another ,

not living according to your values but by the values of others,

giving up your integrity to accommodate another,

associating with people of bad influence and allowing them into your life,

not giving yourself enough time and attention to grow,

always putting yourself last,

belittling yourself.

I believe we can answer “yes” to at least 1 circumstance mentioned above. It has been described as one of the worst forms of betrayal.

Self-betrayal. It reflects to what extent we love and respect ourselves.

You feel betrayed when it finally comes out in the open that your spouse is cheating on you.

You betrayed yourself first by ignoring the obvious signals you were getting.

When you kept quiet instead of speaking up for something you believed in for fear he might leave.

You betrayed yourself by abandoning your values.

When you said YES but meant NO and when you said NO but meant YES.

You betrayed yourself by not being true.

In Self-betrayal, we abandon our own souls for fear that we may be abandoned by others (this is explained  by Terry Tempest Williams in her book When Women Were Birds:Fifty-Four Variations on Voice).


Let’s stop the unconscious self-hate and consciously love ourselves first.

We have heard of different ways; being kind to ourselves, giving ourselves treats, practicing gratitude etc.

I hold one ultimate approach on how to authentically love yourself first. Everything else falls naturally into place after that.


Choose to…

speak only the truth of yourself to those you love and those whose lives you touch.

forgive yourself for the past. Be transparent.


no longer fear losing the person you love for sharing the truth about yourself.

Be willing to lose rather that hold false images. Letting go is a sign of pure love. Clinging on is pure selfishness.

When your soul stands “naked” before the one you say you love, only then can you say you truly love yourself.


Let your cup be full of 100% acceptance, then it shall over-flow with pure unconditional love towards others.

You accept the PERFECTION in the IMPERFECTIONS of the ones you love because you love yourself first, unconditionally.

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